Titus Connection Volume 20, Number 8 – August 2026
WISE INTENTIONAL LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT
TITUS CONNECTION
Volume 20, Number 8 – August, 2026
Intentionally Developing Multigenerational Leaders
Throughout The World
Having high standards and at the same time showing grace to others may not always be easy but something that leaders need to live. Jesus exemplified that paradox as He lived His life on earth. Looking at the Youth Ministry instruction, having high standards and living a life of grace is something we should admire in others and ultimately in ourselves. Hope these articles challenge us to think like Jesus. Mike
Leadership Paradox – High Standards versus Grace-filled
In my secondary school years I had a basketball coach who would shout my name across the gymnasium during actual games when I made a mistake. Each time he would shout my name, I would cringe and play worse because I was focused on not making another mistake. It was embarrassing to have my name announced to all the crowd and the focus was then on me.
I had developed a fear of failing what I was attempting. Failing not pursuing getting better was my focus. Tim Elmore shared when the Golden Gate Bridge in western United States was being built in 1933, the builders were fearful of falling off the partial construction to their death into the ocean. Mortality rates were quite high for bridge builders and productivity greatly suffered each time a worker fell to his death.
The chief engineer had a safety net placed under the partially built Golden Gate Bridge. Workers continued to fall after the net was in place but many fewer deaths resulted because the workers were not as greatly concerned about falling and productivity increased during this time. The focus was not on falling (or failing) but on the task on hand and doing their best to complete the bridge.
This story illustrates another spiritual leadership paradox, setting high standards and at the same time being kind or as I call it, grace filled. Elmore describes it as gracious forgiveness. Pursue excellence, the goal of being the best you can become in whatever you do, and at the same time, exhibit kindness in the form of being graciously forgiving because mistakes and failures occur.
How do you determine high standards? Know your core values – what you stand for, what you believe, what you will not compromise on, your convictions. When you know your standards, you can say things exactly as they are, no confusion on where you are coming from (1 Corinthians 10:31-11:1, Ephesians 4:20-5:2).
Excellence is expecting high standards and not being wishy-washy about who you are, and at the same time, being forgiving and kind when there is failure. The person who fails to meet the standard and chooses to improve, that is pursuing excellence. But a person will never achieve excellence if you do not offer forgiveness when the person fails, including yourself.
Don Thurman said, “If you limit yourself to what is comfortable, you will deny what is possible.” The only way you will step out of what is comfortable, is to have the freedom to fail and be forgiven. Is this not the life Jesus wants us to live? He calls us to be holy as He is holy (1 Peter 1:18-19) but he knows we will stumble, sin as we go along that journey. Jesus does not condemn when we stumble, rather, get back up and keep moving forward.
Being kind and forgiving are not weaknesses. Being grace filled, people will be more willing to follow you as you offer respect, not slanderous or degrading, honest feedback and clear expectations. Does Jesus reject you when you sin? No, He meets you where you are at and builds you up as you obediently follow Him.
Read John 4:1-42, the woman at the well. Jesus had every right to condemn the woman, did not condone her sin but He introduced who He is to her. Communicate high expectations and standards but model sincere forgiveness.
When Jesus said that your yes should be yes and your no, no (Matthew 5:37); He was indicating that we need to have the high standards of absolute honesty and integrity. People know where you are coming from, you are direct. People will then buy into you more if you reveal you are kind, helpful, caring and grace filled.
It does not mean you let anything and everything slide. Rather you show your grace because you have been there, as you have wrestled through your journey. The grace of God is revealed by offering His sacrifice on the cross and by believing, accepting that gift, we pursue the high standards of His holiness. That is not easy believe-ism. Becoming Christlike is a rugged spiritual journey.
Know what you believe and why you believe and show the Lord’s grace through forgiving others and showing the kind compassion He showed to you. That is pursuing holiness!
Youth Ministry Insight – Who Do You Admire?
Who is someone you admire and why do you admire that person? Is it a family member, a sports person, a friend or someone you work for? Someone you admire right now, may over time still be appreciated and another person slides into your admiration category. We may say that a certain person is our “hero”.
One of the biggest questions to ask yourself is why you admire that certain person and maybe not someone else. What criteria or standards do utilize to determine who you will have admiration for? The easy answer is to simply say that you do not know, and maybe you really have not pondered it.
People we admire do have various degrees of impact in our lives, even to the point where we want to imitate something about that person. So it is important to know what standards you have to allow someone have influence over you, or you could quickly go down paths that you really do not want to.
Here are some standards that you could incorporate to determine who should get admiration status in your life.
Is the person a person of integrity, meaning the person lives a consistent, real life? What you see and hear about the person is the same no matter what situation and where the person is at.
Does the person do the right things good, honest people consistently live?
Does the person follow Jesus and the principles found in the Bible?
Does the person always talk about him/herself and how important they are, OR do you hear the person make others as important and even more important than they themselves?
How does this person treat others? With respect or disgrace? Does he care for others? How does the person talk about another person when the person is not around?
Is the person who I admire make me a better person to become the best version of myself, taking qualities of that person to become a quality found in my life?
I have had numerous people in my life that I have or do admire. First off, Jesus is my Savior and who I want to become in all areas of my life. I want to imitate Him in every way possible.
Additionally, I had a friend who is now in heaven but the longer I got to know Bert, the more I admired and respected him. How he treated and encouraged people is the way I want to impact people.
My parents I admire, not because they are my parents, but more so, essentially the unconditional love they showed to my siblings and me and the level they believed in me all throughout my life. Not complaining, my dad provided and showed me how to work when I work and when I play to play well.
My wife Ann has my admiration because she unselfishly gave her life to our three children, pouring herself into them in any way she could, and at the same time, allowing me to keep developing to become what God intents for me. That is love for others.
The people I have just mentioned and others that I have not, have all helped to shape me to be the person I am today. They all hold special places in my life because each has parts of them in me. My desire is to honor each of them by the way I live my life.
Knowing what standards you have determined for your life will gravitate you toward people who exemplify those standards in their lives. Figure out your values, what you believe and why you believe what you do and what you want to characteristically become NOW.
God has given you one life to live to the max to glorify and honor Him. Who is going to help you reach that goal?