Titus Connection Volume 19, Number 8 August 2025
WISE INTENTIONAL LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT
TITUS CONNECTION
Volume 19, Number 8 August, 2025
Intentionally Developing Multigenerational Leaders
Throughout The World
TITUS CONNECTION
Volume 19, Number 8 August, 2025
Intentionally Developing Multigenerational Leaders
Throughout The World
Intentionally Developing Multigenerational Leaders
Throughout The World
Throughout The World
Greetings. I apologize. Returning from Africa in early August, I took a week off and then returned to WILD activities. Sending out August’s Titus Connection did not get on my list of activities last week and just dawned on me today. Here is Part 3 of the Standards of Communication for both the regular leadership article and youth ministry article because of how key our need to communicate is. Enjoy! Mike
Standards of Communication Part 3
Over the past couple of months, the discussion has focused upon how to follow spiritual guidelines and consider ways to be grace givers and the goal to build up the hearer. During the process of developing these discussions, a younger pastor shared with me how his board of elders sat down with him and provided a decent amount of constructive feedback or in their view, guidance.
There was a list of items that would help him be a better pastor, which this pastor acknowledged had some good suggestions. But he was struggling 36 hours after the onslaught. Was he built up and offered grace? What was feedback became criticism to his heart as the list was long.
He shared that one item made a lot of sense but he had been doing what they had an issue with for a long time. It just did not occur this past Sunday. Timing is very important when providing constructive feedback or criticism. Yes, the board is who this pastor “answers” to, but most often, one person or maybe two of the board or group should sit down and have the conversation.
The pastor was caught off guard when it was a group nor given any warning. If things keep occurring, deal with the situation right away; do not let one thing after another pile on another. I know I struggle with this as I will allow things to add up and then suddenly, the person who I have a problem with, receives a shotgun full of issues. Not one issue was a character issue; simply how he did things.
Perhaps you were on the receiving end from a group of people dealing with issues regarding you. Or maybe you have been part of a group that bombarded someone. Personally, I think generally we do not deal with issues right away or connect with people one-on-one is because we are afraid to confront. We may have been the recipient of an attack and are gun shy or we lack the courage to help develop someone because confronting is uncomfortable.
Therefore, we will continue to consider after verse 29, Ephesians 4:20-5:2 for guidance. In verse 30 we are warned not to bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit by the way we live, which includes our communication and words. “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”
Do my words bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit? Do I grieve the Holy Spirit when I am harsh, non-gracious and tearing down in what I say to another person? When I speak harshly, do I push a non-believer away from Jesus? That cannot make the Holy Spirit pleased.
Following, in verse 31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Paul is emphatic that believers get rid of things like bitterness, damaging anger and harsh words, malicious behavior that include bad attitudes, brawling or a deep-seated ill will or hatred that motivates a person to harm or inflict suffering on others. This verse reinforces verse 29.
I think of the times when I am emotionally charged and speaking to someone. Harsh words, damaging anger and words that I wish I could take back come out. I think too of times when I was embarrassed by something my children did and spoke unkind, harsh words to them. The truth I was attempting to convey was covered up by the emotion coming out of my mouth, and they probably missed a solid truth being offered.
I am so glad verse 32 comes in where it does (thank you God for inspiring Paul to write these words), “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Show kindness, provide a gentle, compassionate heart that shows the love of God and make sure to forgive. Do our words convey kindness, compassion and forgiveness, as our words express what is in our heart?
Included in the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us”. If we do not forgive, shall we anticipate forgiveness from the Lord? Without getting into a deep discussion on forgiveness, the great majority of offenses we face are minor and need to be dealt with quickly. The more grievous offenses can be discussed another day. Help me Lord not to keep grievances in my heart but to pursue being blameless, without reproach in my heart.
WHY??? Ephesians 5:1-2 lays it out well. “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
Follow God’s example in everything I do because we belong to Him and represent Him (2 Corinthians 5:19-20 – For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So, we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
We are his ambassadors or representatives. Live a life that is filled with love because God is love (1 John 4:8-10) and Jesus lived love. This pleased God as Jesus’ sacrifice brought us back to the Father.
Here is the last standard to ponder in this discussion. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”. In the way I live, do I point people to Jesus? Can I say to follow me and then you will be following the way Jesus lived? This alone can change how I communicate with and about others.
James 1:19 states, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Believer, ministry is about relationships. Be a student of others. By doing this you will impact and influence. Leadership is influenced. People and the Word of God are eternal.
Become a student of people. Ask questions to people so that you learn more about them, letting them open up to you. Take the time to be quiet, humble yourself by not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less, and learn to build others up!
Living funerals are becoming a popular activity where a person who may be facing a difficult sickness or situation, has people give eulogies about him or her while they are sitting and listening. Why do we wait for people to die before we express what they mean to us? It can be face to face, in a letter or text, video, sign in the sky, however, but do it.
Right now as I am preparing this message, a former young man who spent a great deal of time at our house as our own kids were growing up, just sent me a text, “wishing you a happy father’s day though it is tomorrow. Thank you for all the advice over the years that helped shape who I am today.”
I am preaching to myself in my task oriented, to-do-list personality world. People are more important than paper work. I need to walk among people and be a student (Matthew 9:35-38).
Recently a relative was near death days before their wedding anniversary and recovered. On their anniversary, I stopped at the hospital and the biggest smile came across his face. He was so overjoyed that I would take time out of my day to travel to visit them and especially him there in the hospital.
I know people who have the spiritual gift of encouragement. Their letters, notes and words build up people. I know a one person who people have been so complimentary of her when she has written people notes. And she loves to do that activity. She builds people up with her gracious words, it changes them as they read what she writes.
Back to a question asked a few discussions ago. Who has made a difference, an impact in your life? In my life several men have believed in me and help shaped who I am. My dad, my grandfather, Bert who believed in me in ministry before I even believed it myself, Dave and Chuck. Thankfully now I know I have been able to thank each one as three are no longer here on earth.
There was a list of items that would help him be a better pastor, which this pastor acknowledged had some good suggestions. But he was struggling 36 hours after the onslaught. Was he built up and offered grace? What was feedback became criticism to his heart as the list was long.
He shared that one item made a lot of sense but he had been doing what they had an issue with for a long time. It just did not occur this past Sunday. Timing is very important when providing constructive feedback or criticism. Yes, the board is who this pastor “answers” to, but most often, one person or maybe two of the board or group should sit down and have the conversation.
The pastor was caught off guard when it was a group nor given any warning. If things keep occurring, deal with the situation right away; do not let one thing after another pile on another. I know I struggle with this as I will allow things to add up and then suddenly, the person who I have a problem with, receives a shotgun full of issues. Not one issue was a character issue; simply how he did things.
Perhaps you were on the receiving end from a group of people dealing with issues regarding you. Or maybe you have been part of a group that bombarded someone. Personally, I think generally we do not deal with issues right away or connect with people one-on-one is because we are afraid to confront. We may have been the recipient of an attack and are gun shy or we lack the courage to help develop someone because confronting is uncomfortable.
Therefore, we will continue to consider after verse 29, Ephesians 4:20-5:2 for guidance. In verse 30 we are warned not to bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit by the way we live, which includes our communication and words. “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”
Do my words bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit? Do I grieve the Holy Spirit when I am harsh, non-gracious and tearing down in what I say to another person? When I speak harshly, do I push a non-believer away from Jesus? That cannot make the Holy Spirit pleased.
Following, in verse 31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Paul is emphatic that believers get rid of things like bitterness, damaging anger and harsh words, malicious behavior that include bad attitudes, brawling or a deep-seated ill will or hatred that motivates a person to harm or inflict suffering on others. This verse reinforces verse 29.
I think of the times when I am emotionally charged and speaking to someone. Harsh words, damaging anger and words that I wish I could take back come out. I think too of times when I was embarrassed by something my children did and spoke unkind, harsh words to them. The truth I was attempting to convey was covered up by the emotion coming out of my mouth, and they probably missed a solid truth being offered.
I am so glad verse 32 comes in where it does (thank you God for inspiring Paul to write these words), “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Show kindness, provide a gentle, compassionate heart that shows the love of God and make sure to forgive. Do our words convey kindness, compassion and forgiveness, as our words express what is in our heart?
Included in the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us”. If we do not forgive, shall we anticipate forgiveness from the Lord? Without getting into a deep discussion on forgiveness, the great majority of offenses we face are minor and need to be dealt with quickly. The more grievous offenses can be discussed another day. Help me Lord not to keep grievances in my heart but to pursue being blameless, without reproach in my heart.
WHY??? Ephesians 5:1-2 lays it out well. “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
Follow God’s example in everything I do because we belong to Him and represent Him (2 Corinthians 5:19-20 – For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So, we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
We are his ambassadors or representatives. Live a life that is filled with love because God is love (1 John 4:8-10) and Jesus lived love. This pleased God as Jesus’ sacrifice brought us back to the Father.
Here is the last standard to ponder in this discussion. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”. In the way I live, do I point people to Jesus? Can I say to follow me and then you will be following the way Jesus lived? This alone can change how I communicate with and about others.
James 1:19 states, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Believer, ministry is about relationships. Be a student of others. By doing this you will impact and influence. Leadership is influenced. People and the Word of God are eternal.
Become a student of people. Ask questions to people so that you learn more about them, letting them open up to you. Take the time to be quiet, humble yourself by not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less, and learn to build others up!
Living funerals are becoming a popular activity where a person who may be facing a difficult sickness or situation, has people give eulogies about him or her while they are sitting and listening. Why do we wait for people to die before we express what they mean to us? It can be face to face, in a letter or text, video, sign in the sky, however, but do it.
Right now as I am preparing this message, a former young man who spent a great deal of time at our house as our own kids were growing up, just sent me a text, “wishing you a happy father’s day though it is tomorrow. Thank you for all the advice over the years that helped shape who I am today.”
I am preaching to myself in my task oriented, to-do-list personality world. People are more important than paper work. I need to walk among people and be a student (Matthew 9:35-38).
Recently a relative was near death days before their wedding anniversary and recovered. On their anniversary, I stopped at the hospital and the biggest smile came across his face. He was so overjoyed that I would take time out of my day to travel to visit them and especially him there in the hospital.
I know people who have the spiritual gift of encouragement. Their letters, notes and words build up people. I know a one person who people have been so complimentary of her when she has written people notes. And she loves to do that activity. She builds people up with her gracious words, it changes them as they read what she writes.
Back to a question asked a few discussions ago. Who has made a difference, an impact in your life? In my life several men have believed in me and help shaped who I am. My dad, my grandfather, Bert who believed in me in ministry before I even believed it myself, Dave and Chuck. Thankfully now I know I have been able to thank each one as three are no longer here on earth.