Titus Connection Volume 19, Number 7 July 2025

Greetings.  Standards of Communication Part 1 influenced people as the WILD office received feedback from this article.  Just as we did last month, there is one article as Youth Ministry is combined in this communique.  Enjoy!  Mike

Standards of Communication Part 2
What we say has the ability to build up or destroy another person. In leadership roles and responsibilities, our words can carry so much more weight.  From last month’s discussion on our conversations and interactions with others, Ephesians 4:29 provides several standards for us to follow when communicating.
Use conversation that is wholesome, sharing what will build up or edify the hearer and what you say will be beneficial.  Keeping those standards reveals a desire to be obedient to the Lord and pursuing what is right.
Taming the tongue is not easy.  “We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.  And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong.  In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.  But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”   James 3:3-6
Do you recall a time when someone said something to you that truly made you feel good?  That was a gift from that person.  Now, recall a time when something was said about or to you that was hurtful, inappropriate or derogatorily false.  That was painful and something you do not forget.  There is a good chance you can recall hurtful words shared with or about you quicker than gracious words that have been spoken to you.
Physically our tongue is small compared to the rest of our body but wow, the destruction that roles off our tongues is inflammatory.  What is on the inside of us, our thoughts come out in our words and actions.  Jesus says to clean up the inside of the “cup, dishes and tombs”, just not the outsides, as he told the Pharisees to do (Matthew 23:25-28).
People, especially young people, need people to speak helpful, uplifting truth into their lives.  Many young people in today’s world suffer from a lack of self-confidence because the foundations and structures many of us older people had growing up are not available for whatever reason in their lives.
It is so great to see a young person immediately perk up when something uplifting is said or written to them.  You want to be an impact, a difference maker in today’s world?  Then use your words to build up.
One activity done with the students taught in the leadership development classes in our secondary school is write each a note at the end of the semester, sharing qualities I saw in them during the term.  Many have offered a simple thank you for the note.
It is not fluff or qualities that they do not possess but rather real, tangible qualities they exhibit.  Several sentences are written down as it is not a long letter.  This takes time but can be a world of difference.  Many students have personally thanked me for what was shared with them and our relationship deepened.
One young man took his note home to show his parents.  His mother happens to be a teacher in the school district I teach in.  One day mom came to me and thanked me for that note because they were so pleased that someone other than they as mom or dad noticed those qualities in their son, and reinforced what they had been telling him for years.
There is a story from years ago where a boy was not doing well in school and really had no friends, becoming very depressed, so a certain day, he had planned that after he came home from school that day, he would commit suicide.  He had everything planned out.
Except that day, one of his teachers had everyone in his class write nice something about another student in that class.  A student in the class was given this suicidal boy’s name but really did not know the distressed boy.  The young man wrote some nice things about the distressed boy.
Each student was given the letters written to them.  The distressed boy read his and went home but never committed suicide.
Years later after graduating, the former suicidal young man ran into the author of that letter.  After graduation, they had not kept in touch, but the young man was totally beside himself.  He told the author that the letter the author wrote to him saved his life.  Obviously confused, the author could not figure out how he saved the young man’s life.
So the young man explained that the day the letter was authored, he was planning to kill himself after school because no one cared.  The letter told him otherwise.  Those words turned this young man’s life around.
Whose life can you help turn around?  Who has made a difference in your life?  Does that person or do those people know that?  Or will you wait until their funeral to share with others what the dead person has done for you?
You know what gracious words do for you.  Please do not think, “Well, no one has ever written or spoken something to me so I will not.”  Hopefully that is not true about you.  Start a new trend by reaching out and telling, texting, speaking gracious words into someone.
Ask Jesus right now who you need to make a difference for.  There is a pretty good chance that someone will come to mind.  Stop reading and write a note or text.  Or call.  Or better, if you are able, go to that person and share your gratitude and gratefulness.
As a Christian speaking truth into someone’s life can open the door for a spiritual conversation if the person is not a Christian or struggling spiritually.  God does amazing things when we are willing to be a vessel or instrument placed in His hand.
Take the chance.  Watch what He does.  Read the words from a Hawk Nelson song that was popular several years ago!  If able, google the song and listen to it, letting the truths of scripture flow over you.

Words
Song by Hawk Nelson ‧ 2013

They’ve made me feel like a prisoner
They’ve made me feel set free
They’ve made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They’ve lifted my heart
To places I’d never been
And they’ve dragged me down
Back to where I began
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to you
You can heal the heartache
Speak over the fear
(Speak over the fear)
God, your voice is the only thing
We need to hear
(We need to hear)
Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to you
(Back to you)
Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of your grace
(Sound like your grace)
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to you
I wanna speak your love
Not just another noise
Oh, I wanna be your light
I wanna be your voice
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to you
(Back to you)
Let the words I say
(Let the words I say)
Be the sound of your grace
(Sound like your grace)
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to you
(Back to you)
Words can build us up
Words can break us down
Start a fire in our hearts
Or put it out
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to you