TITUS CONNECTION Volume 18, Number 1 – January 2024

Greetings, Happy New Year!  I hope your Christmas was a blessing to your family and you.  Now it is on to a new year.  Over the course of the next months, we will take a look at team dysfunctions and how these dysfunctions will derail any team.  In our Christian world, we want and talk about team (aka. The Body) but struggle maintaining a cohesive team.  Hope these discussions encourage you.  Mike

The best way to destroy a cohesive team is to have what are called dysfunctions creep into the team.  There are five dysfunctions we are going to discuss and one negatively builds on the other so if you want to destroy the dysfunctions, start with the foundational one, Trust and build upon Trust.  Then in the coming months, we will go to the next level.  The dysfunctions come from the book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni.
The slippery slope begins with the inability to trust team members.  People will not be vulnerable to one another.  They put on masks and are not willing to be people of integrity to one another.  In other words, they are simply being hypocrites with teammates.  We know what Jesus said about hypocrites (Matthew 23).
A hypocrite was another name for actors thousands of years ago and also, masks used by actors were called that too.  You disguise the real you and play a role that is not who you really are as you are hiding behind a façade so you are not vulnerable to others.
It is near impossible to build trust when people are not willing to be vulnerable to each other.  You never know if the other person is telling the truth or not, if they are being real and sincere.  Trust is a risk game.  If you know that when you are vulnerable, those vulnerabilities will not be used against you.  Vulnerabilities will include a person’s weaknesses, help situations, shortcomings, blind spots, deficiencies in character and skill and life experiences.
We want to look basically invincible to one another, basically putting on masks to protect our humanness.  Protect your reputation.  Do not ask for help because that shows weakness (especially when the person we could be asking, is skilled or knows something about that area) nor be willing to offer help in areas you lack knowledge or understanding.
When we do not trust someone, we question their intentions or their heart.  We are quick to defend a person we trust because we give them the benefit of doubt.  People need to hear their side of the situation before jumping to conclusions.  No trust equals jumping to conclusions about intent and usually they are negative intents.
How do you become real to others, dropping masks to protect yourself?  Spend time with those you need to build trust with.  Trust needs to develop between each other.  It is not easy but essential.
Vulnerability begins with the team leader.  She or he needs to be willing to be the one to take the risk of being vulnerable first.  Few team members will follow suit if the team leader does not put it out there first.
Pursue being completely transparent, honest and naked. Seek a level of being able to speaking freely and fearlessly with your team.  Do not be hypocritical; let go of pride, ego, fear for the good of the team. Be willing to say, “I messed up” or “You are better than me at a certain responsibility.”
What are ways to build trust?  Make it a point to always tell the truth no matter what the truth is. (Ephesians 4:25, Proverbs 6:16-19, 12:17.19, Philippians 4:8).  Plus share your honest feelings when the opportunity arises and in  all your dealings with others, do everything with honesty and integrity.
If you say you will do something, do it,  “Your walk talks and your talk talks, but you walks talks more than your talk talks!”  When you do screw up and make a mistake, own up to it and deal with the consequences.  Living moral authority.  People know you live with a good set of morals and treat people with respect.
You gain credibility by being consistent in your words and how you live out those words.  Perform an unselfish act of significance/kindness for someone.  Keep evaluating who you are and where you are going in life.  Be real/authentic, humble and courageous. Spend time with those you need to build trust with.
If you have something like a grudge against another person or group, deal with it by getting it out in the open and have an honest discussion.  Seek forgiveness. (Matthew 18:15-17).
If you struggle being a trustworthy person, begin with small steps.  Have the courage to evaluate yourself.  Ask some people you can trust to give an honest evaluation of you and be willing to accept their honest, loving feedback.  Have someone hold you accountable to change a small behavior that creates trust.  Begin somewhere, so start somewhere.

Whether it is hanging out together at school or at a store, or texting, you know what is going on with your friends pretty much all the time.  Back in Jesus’ time, there obviously was not social media or phones, but friends kept close tabs on each other.  Just as it is today, true friends took care of one another.
There were four friends had a fifth friend who was handicapped.  This fifth friend was paralyzed and had to be carried everywhere on a mat because there was no other means of transporting him around.
These guys heard that Jesus had come to their village and the rumor was this Jesus could heal people.  Suddenly the thought came to at least one of them that if they could get their paralyzed friend to Jesus, maybe Jesus would have time to heal him!  This thought inspired the four friends.  They anxiously grabbed their paralyzed friend, put him on the mat and hustled over to where Jesus was speaking (Mark 2:1-12).
Hopes were dashed when they arrived and saw an enormous crowd pushing and shoving their way around the house Jesus was in.  The crowd was so thick in and outside the house, there was no way they would be able to carry a guy on a mat through the people.  Discouragement was seen on the friends’ faces until the thought came that if they got up on the roof of the house Jesus was in, they could make a hole in that thatched roof and lower their paralyzed friend down to Jesus.
It had to work!  Right?  Plus, their paralyzed friend would have to trust them that he would not be dropped off the mat nor freely fall as they lowered him down to Jesus.  The friends’ determination and persistence keep them going as they laboriously took the roof apart, being careful not to weaken the roof causing any of them to fall into room where Jesus was.  Sweat poured from their heads.
What a sight and stir it had to be to see these guys climb up on the roof and begin tearing it apart.  Every eye that could see what was going on had to be on them as they lifted their friend up onto the roof and down the hole with ropes, at all moments being very mindful of not dropping their friend off the mat.
Down to Jesus this friend was lowered.  What love and determination those four friends had!  Jesus had to be impressed with their perseverance.  When the paralyzed friend was in front of Jesus, Jesus addressed him, indicating that his sins had been forgiven and he was physically healed.  This friend got up perhaps for the first time ever and walked!  The friends on the roof were overwhelmed with emotion.  “Our friend can walk!  He’s walking!!!”
With great excitement they stumbled and jumped off the roof and ran through the crowd, hugging their friend who had no problem moving his way over to them.  “He’s healed; he’s walking.”  There were no words to express the great amount of joy and love that was shown between those five friends.  They gave friendship a new definition of the meaning that day.
We all have friends who are not Christians.  How bad do you want to see them introduced to the Person who can free them of hell and offer them eternal life where you can hang out together forever after our years on earth are completed?  Do your friends even know that you are a Christian or do you hide your faith?  Hopefully we are not embarrassed of Jesus, who offers the greatest gift of all time.
What would have happened if those four friends would have thought that day Jesus showed up in their village that getting their paralyzed friend over to Jesus was too much work?  Friends care about each other and Christian friends are concerned where their friends will spend eternity.