Titus Connection Volume 19, Number 9, September 2025
WISE INTENTIONAL LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT
TITUS CONNECTION
Volume 19, Number 9 September, 2025
Intentionally Developing Multigenerational Leaders
Throughout The World
TITUS CONNECTION
Volume 19, Number 9 September, 2025
Intentionally Developing Multigenerational Leaders
Throughout The World
Greetings. We are completing four articles on Standards of Communication both for the regular leadership article and youth ministry article. My hope is that you have been encouraged and challenged on how we handle communication coming from us. Thanks. Mike
Standards of Communication Part 4
Over the course of the past three months, the discussion has been dealing with our speech and biblical guidelines of how to properly communicate. It has been an intriguing and convicting analysis of what and how things should come out of our mouths.
As a Christian we are without excuse to keep absorbing the Word of God into our hearts and minds. From Romans 12:2, our minds should be transformed by the renewing and cleansing of Scripture to combat the way the world treats and thinks about one another, to capture every thought and begin to think Jesus thoughts and speak as Jesus would (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Two applications we can struggle with these biblical truths is at home and work. At times our raw emotions play out at home and show up at work. With our closest relationships, we can speak the sharpest and deepest, unfortunately, with words and attitudes behind those words that can not only sting but also damaging.
With our family members who hopefully are among our greatest and deepest emotional bonds, spoken words and the attitudes behind those words can greatly shape positively or negatively a loved one. Seeking the Lord to have control of our tongue needs to be one of greatest pursues.
If we cannot be loving, appreciative and gracious at home, it is time to take a time out and evaluate why we act the way we do at home. Beginning to be the most loving person you can be at home and all other scenarios and relationships will follow.
Seek counsel if you are struggling at home. Get this right before you minister to those outside your home. The most important ministry we have is our family. Love them before going out and loving others.
As for showing appreciation and kindness at work, here is some information from The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. From one study 79% of employees who quit their jobs cited a lack of appreciation as a key reason for leaving and 65% of North Americans reported that they received no recognition or appreciation at work in the past year.
It is a simple fact that most people are not happy in their jobs because they do not feel appreciated or valued. Can there be an easy fix or at least one that could turn the trends the other way without doling out a lot of money?
Bad things happen where there is a lack of appreciation. Toxic environments develop and your work situation can turn into a disastrous fire, a dumpster or garbage fire.
Here are a few results. They feel discouraged, start to grumble and complain more. Employees become tardy or miss work, do not work hard anymore. People begin to not enjoy their work.
Toxic people play the victim as hurt people hurt people, gossip, back biting, sucking up to the boss or pitting one employee against another are all possible results. A person’s mental health will probably be negatively affected. Turnover increases as this also happens with volunteer organizations. All because of a lack of appreciation.
Standing on a desk and thanking someone for their work is most likely not the answer. Simple acts of appreciation even like saying, “Thank You”, makes a difference. one’s mental health can be dangerously affected.
People can show appreciation without spending much money or time. It is knowing how to properly communicate meaningful and impactful appreciation. The appreciation needs to be personal and specific for the person receiving appreciation.
One day a former staff member of mine was sitting at the desk two meters from me as we had a partition separating us, said, “Mike”. I knew I was in trouble. He went on to say he felt I did not think he was doing a good satisfactory job at our ministry because I never told him.
The sad thing is in my mind he was doing a very good job, but I had never told him that. Starting that day going forward, I verbally communicated how he was doing and that resolved the problem. But if I had been prideful and not appreciating being called out, he would have quickly left our ministry. Be humble and be appreciative, expressing that in the ways that others recognize they are appreciated.
We all have different ways we resonate with appreciation language. This organization which also teaches the Five Love Languages, indicates that people also have Appreciation Languages. There is a decent probability between the two languages that if you have Words of affirmation as your love language, your appreciation language is also Words of affirmation. Though not 100%, the comparison is a real possibility.
Words of Affirmation (send a note is one way to express this appreciation language), Acts of Service (example – being given help when you really need it), Tangible Gifts (example – beverage from the person’s favorite store), Quality Time (example- walking by person’s desk and asking how the day is going) and Appropriate Physical Touch (example – fist bump or high five) are the five areas.
Recognized employees are also more motivated to do their best at work. From research in 2023, 86% of employees felt appreciated and respected as a result of their employer’s employee recognition program. 79% said the program had a favorable effect on their engagement and motivation. (From Five Languages of Appreciation at Work).
Recognition does not have to be extravagant. More than half of employees prefer non-monetary incentives over fiscal ones. A simple thank you or a personalized note can go a long way in making employees feel valued and appreciated.
At varying levels, people want to know whether they are doing good, proper work and also that what they are doing, does make a difference. Appreciation encourages developing vision of what the employee or volunteer is involved in.
The President of the United States visited NASA (America’s space program) and he was asking various employees what their job were. Jobs ranged from engineers to technicians to administration.
During his tour, the President walked up to a person doing janitorial work. This person was also asked what he did at NASA. Expecting an answer like, “Sweeping the floor” or “Keeping the toilets working.”, the President was surprised by this man’s response. “I am working to help get the first man on the moon.” Obviously this employee saw the big picture and was appreciated for the work he did for the organization.
Communicating gracious, uplifting, well-timed words to people can provide great dividends. Who is someone you need to let them know how much you appreciate them? Who is someone that you can provide well timed, uplifting words that lifts their spirits to help them attain excellence in their lives? and then suddenly, the person who I have a problem with, receives a shotgun full of issues. Not one issue was a character issue; simply how he did things.
Perhaps you were on the receiving end from a group of people dealing with issues regarding you. Or maybe you have been part of a group that bombarded someone. Personally, I think generally we do not deal with issues right away or connect with people one-on-one is because we are afraid to confront. We may have been the recipient of an attack and are gun shy or we lack the courage to help develop someone because confronting is uncomfortable.
Therefore, we will continue to consider after verse 29, Ephesians 4:20-5:2 for guidance. In verse 30 we are warned not to bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit by the way we live, which includes our communication and words. “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”
Do my words bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit? Do I grieve the Holy Spirit when I am harsh, non-gracious and tearing down in what I say to another person? When I speak harshly, do I push a non-believer away from Jesus? That cannot make the Holy Spirit pleased.
Following, in verse 31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Paul is emphatic that believers get rid of things like bitterness, damaging anger and harsh words, malicious behavior that include bad attitudes, brawling or a deep-seated ill will or hatred that motivates a person to harm or inflict suffering on others. This verse reinforces verse 29.
I think of the times when I am emotionally charged and speaking to someone. Harsh words, damaging anger and words that I wish I could take back come out. I think too of times when I was embarrassed by something my children did and spoke unkind, harsh words to them. The truth I was attempting to convey was covered up by the emotion coming out of my mouth, and they probably missed a solid truth being offered.
I am so glad verse 32 comes in where it does (thank you God for inspiring Paul to write these words), “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Show kindness, provide a gentle, compassionate heart that shows the love of God and make sure to forgive. Do our words convey kindness, compassion and forgiveness, as our words express what is in our heart?
Included in the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us”. If we do not forgive, shall we anticipate forgiveness from the Lord? Without getting into a deep discussion on forgiveness, the great majority of offenses we face are minor and need to be dealt with quickly. The more grievous offenses can be discussed another day. Help me Lord not to keep grievances in my heart but to pursue being blameless, without reproach in my heart.
WHY??? Ephesians 5:1-2 lays it out well. “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
Follow God’s example in everything I do because we belong to Him and represent Him (2 Corinthians 5:19-20 – For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So, we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
We are his ambassadors or representatives. Live a life that is filled with love because God is love (1 John 4:8-10) and Jesus lived love. This pleased God as Jesus’ sacrifice brought us back to the Father.
Here is the last standard to ponder in this discussion. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”. In the way I live, do I point people to Jesus? Can I say to follow me and then you will be following the way Jesus lived? This alone can change how I communicate with and about others.
James 1:19 states, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Believer, ministry is about relationships. Be a student of others. By doing this you will impact and influence. Leadership is influenced. People and the Word of God are eternal.
Become a student of people. Ask questions to people so that you learn more about them, letting them open up to you. Take the time to be quiet, humble yourself by not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less, and learn to build others up!
Living funerals are becoming a popular activity where a person who may be facing a difficult sickness or situation, has people give eulogies about him or her while they are sitting and listening. Why do we wait for people to die before we express what they mean to us? It can be face to face, in a letter or text, video, sign in the sky, however, but do it.
Right now as I am preparing this message, a former young man who spent a great deal of time at our house as our own kids were growing up, just sent me a text, “wishing you a happy father’s day though it is tomorrow. Thank you for all the advice over the years that helped shape who I am today.”
I am preaching to myself in my task oriented, to-do-list personality world. People are more important than paper work. I need to walk among people and be a student (Matthew 9:35-38).
Recently a relative was near death days before their wedding anniversary and recovered. On their anniversary, I stopped at the hospital and the biggest smile came across his face. He was so overjoyed that I would take time out of my day to travel to visit them and especially him there in the hospital.
I know people who have the spiritual gift of encouragement. Their letters, notes and words build up people. I know a one person who people have been so complimentary of her when she has written people notes. And she loves to do that activity. She builds people up with her gracious words, it changes them as they read what she writes.
Back to a question asked a few discussions ago. Who has made a difference, an impact in your life? In my life several men have believed in me and help shaped who I am. My dad, my grandfather, Bert who believed in me in ministry before I even believed it myself, Dave and Chuck. Thankfully now I know I have been able to thank each one as three are no longer here on earth.
As a Christian we are without excuse to keep absorbing the Word of God into our hearts and minds. From Romans 12:2, our minds should be transformed by the renewing and cleansing of Scripture to combat the way the world treats and thinks about one another, to capture every thought and begin to think Jesus thoughts and speak as Jesus would (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Two applications we can struggle with these biblical truths is at home and work. At times our raw emotions play out at home and show up at work. With our closest relationships, we can speak the sharpest and deepest, unfortunately, with words and attitudes behind those words that can not only sting but also damaging.
With our family members who hopefully are among our greatest and deepest emotional bonds, spoken words and the attitudes behind those words can greatly shape positively or negatively a loved one. Seeking the Lord to have control of our tongue needs to be one of greatest pursues.
If we cannot be loving, appreciative and gracious at home, it is time to take a time out and evaluate why we act the way we do at home. Beginning to be the most loving person you can be at home and all other scenarios and relationships will follow.
Seek counsel if you are struggling at home. Get this right before you minister to those outside your home. The most important ministry we have is our family. Love them before going out and loving others.
As for showing appreciation and kindness at work, here is some information from The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. From one study 79% of employees who quit their jobs cited a lack of appreciation as a key reason for leaving and 65% of North Americans reported that they received no recognition or appreciation at work in the past year.
It is a simple fact that most people are not happy in their jobs because they do not feel appreciated or valued. Can there be an easy fix or at least one that could turn the trends the other way without doling out a lot of money?
Bad things happen where there is a lack of appreciation. Toxic environments develop and your work situation can turn into a disastrous fire, a dumpster or garbage fire.
Here are a few results. They feel discouraged, start to grumble and complain more. Employees become tardy or miss work, do not work hard anymore. People begin to not enjoy their work.
Toxic people play the victim as hurt people hurt people, gossip, back biting, sucking up to the boss or pitting one employee against another are all possible results. A person’s mental health will probably be negatively affected. Turnover increases as this also happens with volunteer organizations. All because of a lack of appreciation.
Standing on a desk and thanking someone for their work is most likely not the answer. Simple acts of appreciation even like saying, “Thank You”, makes a difference. one’s mental health can be dangerously affected.
People can show appreciation without spending much money or time. It is knowing how to properly communicate meaningful and impactful appreciation. The appreciation needs to be personal and specific for the person receiving appreciation.
One day a former staff member of mine was sitting at the desk two meters from me as we had a partition separating us, said, “Mike”. I knew I was in trouble. He went on to say he felt I did not think he was doing a good satisfactory job at our ministry because I never told him.
The sad thing is in my mind he was doing a very good job, but I had never told him that. Starting that day going forward, I verbally communicated how he was doing and that resolved the problem. But if I had been prideful and not appreciating being called out, he would have quickly left our ministry. Be humble and be appreciative, expressing that in the ways that others recognize they are appreciated.
We all have different ways we resonate with appreciation language. This organization which also teaches the Five Love Languages, indicates that people also have Appreciation Languages. There is a decent probability between the two languages that if you have Words of affirmation as your love language, your appreciation language is also Words of affirmation. Though not 100%, the comparison is a real possibility.
Words of Affirmation (send a note is one way to express this appreciation language), Acts of Service (example – being given help when you really need it), Tangible Gifts (example – beverage from the person’s favorite store), Quality Time (example- walking by person’s desk and asking how the day is going) and Appropriate Physical Touch (example – fist bump or high five) are the five areas.
Recognized employees are also more motivated to do their best at work. From research in 2023, 86% of employees felt appreciated and respected as a result of their employer’s employee recognition program. 79% said the program had a favorable effect on their engagement and motivation. (From Five Languages of Appreciation at Work).
Recognition does not have to be extravagant. More than half of employees prefer non-monetary incentives over fiscal ones. A simple thank you or a personalized note can go a long way in making employees feel valued and appreciated.
At varying levels, people want to know whether they are doing good, proper work and also that what they are doing, does make a difference. Appreciation encourages developing vision of what the employee or volunteer is involved in.
The President of the United States visited NASA (America’s space program) and he was asking various employees what their job were. Jobs ranged from engineers to technicians to administration.
During his tour, the President walked up to a person doing janitorial work. This person was also asked what he did at NASA. Expecting an answer like, “Sweeping the floor” or “Keeping the toilets working.”, the President was surprised by this man’s response. “I am working to help get the first man on the moon.” Obviously this employee saw the big picture and was appreciated for the work he did for the organization.
Communicating gracious, uplifting, well-timed words to people can provide great dividends. Who is someone you need to let them know how much you appreciate them? Who is someone that you can provide well timed, uplifting words that lifts their spirits to help them attain excellence in their lives? and then suddenly, the person who I have a problem with, receives a shotgun full of issues. Not one issue was a character issue; simply how he did things.
Perhaps you were on the receiving end from a group of people dealing with issues regarding you. Or maybe you have been part of a group that bombarded someone. Personally, I think generally we do not deal with issues right away or connect with people one-on-one is because we are afraid to confront. We may have been the recipient of an attack and are gun shy or we lack the courage to help develop someone because confronting is uncomfortable.
Therefore, we will continue to consider after verse 29, Ephesians 4:20-5:2 for guidance. In verse 30 we are warned not to bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit by the way we live, which includes our communication and words. “And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.”
Do my words bring sorrow to the Holy Spirit? Do I grieve the Holy Spirit when I am harsh, non-gracious and tearing down in what I say to another person? When I speak harshly, do I push a non-believer away from Jesus? That cannot make the Holy Spirit pleased.
Following, in verse 31, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.” Paul is emphatic that believers get rid of things like bitterness, damaging anger and harsh words, malicious behavior that include bad attitudes, brawling or a deep-seated ill will or hatred that motivates a person to harm or inflict suffering on others. This verse reinforces verse 29.
I think of the times when I am emotionally charged and speaking to someone. Harsh words, damaging anger and words that I wish I could take back come out. I think too of times when I was embarrassed by something my children did and spoke unkind, harsh words to them. The truth I was attempting to convey was covered up by the emotion coming out of my mouth, and they probably missed a solid truth being offered.
I am so glad verse 32 comes in where it does (thank you God for inspiring Paul to write these words), “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” Show kindness, provide a gentle, compassionate heart that shows the love of God and make sure to forgive. Do our words convey kindness, compassion and forgiveness, as our words express what is in our heart?
Included in the Lord’s prayer in Matthew 6:9-13 is “forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us”. If we do not forgive, shall we anticipate forgiveness from the Lord? Without getting into a deep discussion on forgiveness, the great majority of offenses we face are minor and need to be dealt with quickly. The more grievous offenses can be discussed another day. Help me Lord not to keep grievances in my heart but to pursue being blameless, without reproach in my heart.
WHY??? Ephesians 5:1-2 lays it out well. “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.”
Follow God’s example in everything I do because we belong to Him and represent Him (2 Corinthians 5:19-20 – For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. So, we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”
We are his ambassadors or representatives. Live a life that is filled with love because God is love (1 John 4:8-10) and Jesus lived love. This pleased God as Jesus’ sacrifice brought us back to the Father.
Here is the last standard to ponder in this discussion. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 11:1, “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.”. In the way I live, do I point people to Jesus? Can I say to follow me and then you will be following the way Jesus lived? This alone can change how I communicate with and about others.
James 1:19 states, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” Believer, ministry is about relationships. Be a student of others. By doing this you will impact and influence. Leadership is influenced. People and the Word of God are eternal.
Become a student of people. Ask questions to people so that you learn more about them, letting them open up to you. Take the time to be quiet, humble yourself by not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less, and learn to build others up!
Living funerals are becoming a popular activity where a person who may be facing a difficult sickness or situation, has people give eulogies about him or her while they are sitting and listening. Why do we wait for people to die before we express what they mean to us? It can be face to face, in a letter or text, video, sign in the sky, however, but do it.
Right now as I am preparing this message, a former young man who spent a great deal of time at our house as our own kids were growing up, just sent me a text, “wishing you a happy father’s day though it is tomorrow. Thank you for all the advice over the years that helped shape who I am today.”
I am preaching to myself in my task oriented, to-do-list personality world. People are more important than paper work. I need to walk among people and be a student (Matthew 9:35-38).
Recently a relative was near death days before their wedding anniversary and recovered. On their anniversary, I stopped at the hospital and the biggest smile came across his face. He was so overjoyed that I would take time out of my day to travel to visit them and especially him there in the hospital.
I know people who have the spiritual gift of encouragement. Their letters, notes and words build up people. I know a one person who people have been so complimentary of her when she has written people notes. And she loves to do that activity. She builds people up with her gracious words, it changes them as they read what she writes.
Back to a question asked a few discussions ago. Who has made a difference, an impact in your life? In my life several men have believed in me and help shaped who I am. My dad, my grandfather, Bert who believed in me in ministry before I even believed it myself, Dave and Chuck. Thankfully now I know I have been able to thank each one as three are no longer here on earth.